


Bad Boy

by injeoImis



Series: stillness in woe [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, F/M, Fluff, Hook-Up, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injeoImis/pseuds/injeoImis
Summary: just one look from me, lights out, watch them hit the ground [...] shot another bad boy downHuang Renjun, unpredictable as he is unreal. Don’t expect too much from him. He’s there one second and gone the next.





	1. Bad Boy

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to loona, the boyz, stray kids + golden child for some name drops :0

 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **27 OCTOBER 2017.**
> 
> **TARGET ONE. NA JAEMIN.**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ FLIRTY, HIGH CONFIDENCE, NO SHAME**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ HUANG RENJUN, NECK KISSES**

  


It was a well known fact to the entire senior class that Na Jaemin had something (more than ‘something’) with Huang Renjun at the start of the school year. Whether they were actually dating or not, no one knew. Not even Na Jaemin himself.

 

But anyway. Here Jaemin was, trying to get drunk off his ass at a college party his friend invited him to, looking around for the older Chinese teen. Of course Renjun was there. There weren’t many places you could find him. Being with Jaemin was, indeed, one of those rare places.

 

Jaemin found Park Chaewon, before stumbling upon the person he really wanted to find, sitting with Olivia Hye on her lap singing along to the music from the blaring speakers. “Hey! Gowon, have you seen—” “Renjun?” She asked, yelling over the music and interrupting him. Olivia rolled her eyes as Jaemin nodded. “Upstairs, third door on your right!”

 

Upon entering the bedroom, Jaemin was hit in the face with a strong smell of weed, no doubt from Renjun who was currently blowing smoke out the window. “So you made it,” The shorter yet older teen commented, not bothering to turn towards Jaemin.

 

Renjun finished his smoke, throwing the tiny paper out of the window. “Where have you been lately?” Jaemin asked. Renjun simply shrugged. “Busy.” Jaemin raised an eyebrow. “Life busy or people busy?”

 

“You can let this kiss determine that,” Renjun quipped, grabbing Jaemin by the neck and connecting their lips. It was unexpected but Jaemin was so used to kissing Renjun that it felt familiar, safe even. Despite having kissed Renjun before, every new one felt like the first time. Jaemin’s heart beat so hard he could hear it in his ears, drowning out [ Jay Park’s I Got This ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4gXMxqGH_Y) that was blasting from the speakers downstairs.

 

Renjun’s teeth tugged at Jaemin’s lower lip, his tongue gingerly licking the younger’s lips. For someone who seemed so rough and tough on the outside, Renjun was a intricate and attentive person once you were able to get past his many walls. Jaemin learned this quite quickly, all his flirting and efforts proving to be successful when the two had first met in the second semester of sophomore year.

 

Jaemin gripped Renjun’s waist to steady himself, knees growing weak as Renjun spread kisses across his neck, his smaller hand running through Jaemin’s newly dyed hair, the kisses becoming harder, more urgent, and leaving bites in his wake. “Asshole,” Jaemin moaned, hooking his fingers in Renjun’s empty jean belt loops and pulling him impossibly closer. “But you love me… Right?” Renjun smirked, smirking up at the taller yet younger boy.

 

“Unfortunately.” Jaemin hissed as Renjun harshly traced the blooming hickies he created, the older staring at them as if he just painted a modern Mona Lisa. “Unfortunate, huh? Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if we ended this?”

 

Jaemin squinted, suddenly forgetting what the word _end_ meant. “What do you mean?” He asked quietly, unwrapping his arms from Renjun.

 

“Us. You and me? If this is all we’re going to be… then I don’t want it.” Renjun stepped away, crossing his arms across his chest. “Wait… You want to break this off? But you’re the one who started it! Why don’t I get a say?”

 

Renjun sighed, “It’s not going to be for forever, Jaemin. You of all people can always find someone else.” Jaemin shook his head. “I don’t want someone else, Renjun. I want you.”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“That’s too bad then.”

 

Na Jaemin hated Renjun. He hated Huang Renjun for being an unpredictable prick and for stealing his heart.

  
  


 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **05 JANUARY 2018**
> 
> **TARGET TWO. LEE JENO**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ CUTE PERSONALITY,  KIND HEARTED**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ HUANG RENJUN, CONSCIENTIOUS**

  


By January, everyone in Neo Culture School of Arts knew that there was something off about Lee Jeno. Whether it was a personal problem or school problems, no one knew except for him. That problem happened to be a person. A person who specifically set out on ruining lives for people like Jeno but for some reason, he didn’t seem to mind. This person just so happened to be Huang Renjun.

 

Yes, Jeno was very well aware of the fact that Renjun and Jaemin used to have something three months ago, but now, as he was pushed against the wall backstage in NCSA’s auditorium, Jeno didn’t seem to care.

 

“Renjun… someone can walk in on us.” Jeno mumbled, his worries coming to life. The shorter teen scoffed. “It’s lunch period, Jen. There’s literally no one in here. Don’t you get annoyed being so uptight all the time?” He asked.

 

Jeno frowned. “I’m not uptight all the time!”

 

Renjun gave him a look that meant he obviously wasn’t falling for Jeno’s lie. “You’re shoulders are super tense,” Renjun pushed them down and pulled Jeno’s face closer to his. “Let me calm you down for a while.”

 

Jeno despised the way he relaxed himself in Renjun’s hold, placing his own hands on top of Renjun’s smaller ones that rested on his cheeks. Despite the older teen’s reputation being a complete badass and senior delinquent, Renjun was soft with Jeno when it came to times like these.

 

Jeno hated the way his heart rate increased with every kiss. He hated the way he chased after Renjun’s lips after they broke away for air. He hated the way a simple touch from Renjun was enough to make his entire body shudder with excitement and electricity. And most of all, he hated Huang Renjun for making him feel this way all the time.

 

After another few minutes that felt like an eternity, both boys decided they’d had enough, panting as they stood across from each other. Jeno smiled, staring at Renjun’s swollen lips. _I did that_ , he thought, running his thumb over Renjun’s silver lip piercing timidly.

 

“That’s new,” He commented. Renjun nodded, “I did it on impulse. I just wanted something new.” “Like  getting with me?” Jeno asked, his mouth running faster than his mind at the moment.

 

Renjun chuckled. “Is this about me not seeing Jaemin anymore?” Jeno stayed silent for a moment. “I didn’t mean to ask that, you don’t have to—” “No, it’s cool.” Renjun interrupted. “Jaemin and I just weren’t working out anymore.” Jeno wasn’t exactly sure what that meant but he didn't want to push his luck. He and Renjun had only been seeing each other for a month. Four weeks is a long time but not when the only thing you’re doing is finding secluded places to make out because you’re too pussy to come out.

 

“Are we going to work out?” Jeno asked, sitting on one of the benches the theatre group used a prop. Renjun stayed standing, a little bit away from him. “Dunno,” He answered, vaguely. “When will you realise that your reputation in this hellhole doesn’t matter as much as you think it does?”

 

Jeno bit his bottom lip, not caring that it hurt from how sore it got. “It’s not just people’s opinions at school that I care about. My dad is a teacher here, Injun. He’ll be affected by it too.” “If he really is your father, Jeno, he wouldn’t give a shit if his son prefers dick. Let me know if you when your done deciding between your reputation and a boy.”

 

Renjun left Jeno sitting there, shocked and somehow ashamed. He knew Renjun was right. It didn’t matter what his father thought about Jeno being gay or not. But for some reason, Jeno knew he could never muster the amount of courage it would take to come out to him, much less the entire school.

 

The second bell for the end of lunch period rang, making Jeno late for his next class. He cursed to himself. Jeno really hated Huang Renjun.

  
  


 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **22-23 MARCH 2018**
> 
> **TARGET THREE. LEE DONGHYUCK**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS** **▶︎** **PERSUASIVE, EXCESSIVE SKINSHIP**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES** **▶︎** **HUANG RENJUN, POSSESSIVE, EASILY JEALOUS**

  


No one in the senior class was surprised to see Lee Donghyuck outside of school with Huang Renjun and their other friends, Heo Hyunjoon and Hwang Hyunjin as they were the rare owners of the title of the Chinese man's best friends. The group of four was originally a group of three, adding Renjun to their posse when the teen moved from China to Korea and enrolled in NCSA their sophomore year.

 

As someone who thrived off of skinship and lived by annoying his friends or anyone who dared to get close to him, Donghyuck was the only person with a pass to be clingy with Renjun in public. When coming across schoolmates in public, neither boy cared if they saw them holding hands. Donghyuck didn’t care about weird looks they got if he wrapped his arm around Renjun’s smaller waist as they walked to a nearby park. But for now, he seemed to bite his lip with nervousness if someone so much as breathed near them on the street as they were on their way to the diner for lunch.

 

“Stop being such a worry wart,” Renjun muttered, grabbing onto Donghyuck’s hand that rested on the table. “I’m not being a worry wart. I just don’t want people looking at what’s not theirs.” He hissed, squinting at a few girls at the counter.

 

Renjun rolled his eyes. “And who said I was yours?” He asked. “Me.” Donghyuck answered, as if it was obvious. Renjun kept his eyes on the menu in front of him. Donghyuck knew Renjun was just going to order the same thing as per usual and not finish half of it before sliding the plate to Donghyuck’s side of the booth. “Whatever, you don’t even _like_ Heejin. Isn’t she taken anyway?”

 

Renjun shrugged. “Why does it matter who I like?”

 

Donghyuck scowled. “You know why,” He seethed, crossing his arms. “You need to stop breaking people’s hearts.” Donghyuck whined, looking anywhere but his friend’s face. “It’s better to break their heart before they break mine.” Renjun answered, turning Donghyuck’s face to his. The younger boy could feel Renjun’s breath ghosting his lips, his hand burning his cheek.

 

“That’s an unrealistic way of thinking.” Donghyuck whispered, risking a glance at his friend’s lips, staring at the way the artificial lights reflected on his lip piercing. Renjun just smiled. “When have I ever been real, Hyuck?”

  
  


+++

  
  


It was no surprise that Donghyuck was invited to Renjun’s eighteenth birthday party. It wasn’t a major one, just some classmates Renjun told them he was close with because everyone knew that there weren’t many. However, according to Hyunjoon ‘ _a few people_ ’ now meant most of the senior class. It was a good thing Hyunjoon was rich and resided in a big house because Donghyuck knew there was no way in the world Renjun would allow this party to be hosted anywhere else.

 

Donghyuck found Choi Bomin in the kitchen mixing drinks together. The teen handed Donghyuck a red solo cup with a sly smile but Donghyuck refused. “No thanks,” He shook his hand. Whatever Bomin was putting in there definitely would not agree with his body. Donghyuck didn’t really feel like dying just yet. He still had to graduate high school and check off other things on his ever-growing bucket list. Like the one he was setting out to cross out just now. Make out with Renjun.

 

At first, the thought didn’t seem so great. They were just friends and he knew that’s all they would ever be. Until Renjun started reciprocating his skinship and students began talking about how great of a kisser Renjun was. Why didn’t Renjun kiss him? Donghyuck was Renjun’s first friend at NCSA! To be quite honest, it offended him that his best friend didn’t want to kiss him. And it offended him that random strangers thought they had a free pass to kiss his best friend whenever they wanted. There was no way Donghyuck would let that go without giving Renjun a piece of his mind. So, Donghyuck thought, what better time to do that then at his birthday party?

 

Well, that wasn’t such a great idea either but it was too late to back out now. As resident of the number one place holder of the title of Renjun’s best friend, Donghyuck never knocked before opening the doors to rooms he knew Renjun frequently occupied. Hyunjoon’s bedroom just so happened to be one of these few doors but as soon as he opened it, Donghyuck was regretting it.

 

There his best friend was with himself underneath Jeon Heejin's weight. The same girl Renjun said he wanted nothing to do with. Before anyone can get a word in, Donghyuck slammed the door and left. To be honest, he had no idea where he was going. He just wanted to be gone. Donghyuck hated that seeing Renjun kissing someone else affected him so greatly. He had been there when Renjun would talk about his current make out session with Jaemin or the times he complained about only being able to kiss Jeno in the janitor’s closet on the third floor where no students dared to walk. So why was this any different?

 

Donghyuck didn’t go far, deciding to sit at the end of the block where the entrance to the gated community Hyunjoon lived in was. “Hyuck!” A far away voice called. He ignored it, pulling out his phone. There was an overflow of messages from Renjun and Felix Lee who had watched him run of out the house as if the police were on their way. He ignored those too, groaning and locking his phone.

 

“You can forget whatever you just saw, Hyuck.” Renjun stated. He stood there in all his glory, the lampposts somehow engulfing him in a light that made him look ethereal as if he didn’t always look this way to Donghyuck. “Sure, let me just rewind to five minutes ago and tell myself not to step in Hwall’s room,” He answered, sarcastically. Renjun scoffed. “She was just drunk, Hyuck.” Renjun pulled down his turtleneck. “It’s a hickey. She left to find Chaewon when you closed the door.”

 

Donghyuck sighed, standing up from the cold sidewalk. “I hate you, you know that right?” Renjun smirked. “If you hated me, you wouldn’t be thinking about kissing me so loudly.”

 

“Who said I was thinking about kissing you?” Donghyuck jested, raising an eyebrow. “The look in your eyes gave it away. Also… I saw your bucket list. Maybe you should change your phone password to a date that isn’t your birthday.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Shut up and kiss me already,” He breathed, leaning down to connect their lips.

 

Standing in the cold for more than ten minutes made both of their lips chapped but Donghyuck could care less. Donghyuck loved the way Renjun’s small body melted into his own. He loved the way their lips fit like two puzzle pieces. Donghyuck began nuzzling Renjun’s neck with delicate kisses, so faint, they were whispers. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to Renjun’s.

 

After what felt like an eternity, Donghyuck pulled away, satisfied with his marks and kisses. “Was that enough to make you real?” He asked, running a hand through Renjun’s now messy blonde hair. The shorter boy rolled his eyes, punching Donghyuck’s arm. “Ask me again later.”

 

Donghyuck smirked. “Well, now no one else can take you from me.” The shorter boy rolled his eyes, pinching Donghyuck’s arm lightly.“As if you have any say in that. C’mon, let’s go back.”

 

They walked back in a comfortable silence, hand in hand. If there was one thing Donghyuck hated about Renjun, it was how easy the older boy made it to love him.

  
  


 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **ALL TARGETS SUCCESSFULLY HIT.**
> 
> **CONSISTENCIES + SIMILARITIES BETWEEN TARGETS:**
> 
> **WEAKNESSES ALL INCLUDE HUANG RENJUN |**
> 
>  
> 
> **HITMAN: HUANG RENJUN**
> 
> **STRENGTHS: ENDEARING, MYSTERIOUS**
> 
> **WEAKNESSES: NA JAEMIN, LEE JENO, LEE DONGHYUCK, INTROVERTED, PHILOPHOBIA |**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dunkyushot)  
>  [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/post/Commissions-S6S6STK1)


	2. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m the one I should love in this world. Me, who shines, my precious soul. Now I finally realize, so I love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything that occurs in this chapter happens BEFORE bad boy.

 

 

 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **PREVIOUS HITMAN + CURRENT TARGET. HUANG RENJUN**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ ENDEARING, MYSTERIOUS**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ LEE DONGHYUCK, INTROVERTED**
> 
>  
> 
> **LEE DONGHYUCK + HUANG RENJUN ▶︎ 28 NOVEMBER 2015. (SOPHOMORE YEAR).**

 

 

The first time the sophomore students of Neo Culture School of Arts batted an eye towards Huang Renjun was when they found him sitting in a seat next to Lee Donghyuck at lunch. Everyone whispered and wondered when he, of all people, got in with their group.

 

Becoming friends with Lee Donghyuck was like trying to cheat on a final exam in NCSA (which that in of itself was a big feat and could end up in academic expulsion of those involved). The Jeju born teen was more than popular, being friendly with everyone in the entire school, but he had only two friends that were genuinely his. Heo Hyunjoon and Kim Hyunjin. They were attached at the hip in the minimal classes and free periods they shared. If you saw Donghyuck, that meant Hyunjin, Hyunjoon, or even both of them, were there as well.

 

Renjun wasn’t sure when it happened. He knew that his Voice 3 class was definitely a catalyst, making it easier for them to become friends. It was all because of their teacher, Mr. Moon, who made most of their evaluations duets since the beginning of the year. According to Hyunjoon, upperclassmen told him that was just Mr. Moon’s way of seeing who he could kick from his potential list of vocals and drama majors from the bi-annual school theatre productions.

 

The first time Renjun was paired with Lee Donghyuck was at the end of the first quarter. The concept for their evaluation at the time was a ballad song so of course, Donghyuck choose One of These Nights by Red Velvet without even asking whether Renjun wanted to do it or not. Renjun wasn’t even sure if his voice could reach that high.

 

“No, you’re getting to the note all wrong,” Donghyuck whined, pausing the music coming from his speakers. Renjun fought back a groan. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Stop saying sorry!”

 

There was a silence. “Sorry?” Renjun apologised though he wasn’t sure why anymore. Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Here, drink some water and we’ll try to do the beginning together.” Renjun thankfully accepted the room temperature bottle of water from his duet partner. “Why can’t you just sing the higher parts?” Renjun inquired.

 

“Because it’s a duet?” Donghyuck answered, as if it was obvious information. It was but just because they were singing a duet, it didn’t mean that both boys had to sing at different times for the entire four minutes. “I just don’t get why you had to choose a girl group song,” Renjun muttered, stacking his lyrics sheets. “Because girl group songs are superior? Renjun, are you sure you’ve got working brain cells up there?”

 

Renjun frowned. “Why don’t we choose a different song from a girl group if you’re so hellbent on singing songs by them then?” Donghyuck sighed, “Because it has to be a ballad. We can’t choose songs with raps in them. Whatever. Let’s start from the beginning. We’ll sing the Joe Millionaire version with more lower parts. If it’ll make you happy.” Renjun sighed from relief, “It really would.”

 

Donghyuck pressed play on his phone, letting the song fill their silence. Renjun started, his eyes glued to the lyric sheet, too shy to make eye contact with his new classmate. When Donghyuck began Renjun looked up, infatuated with Donghyuck’s voice despite hearing it six times before.

 

There was something about the way he sang that made Renjun’s heart race. Maybe it was the way he sang as if he were going to lose his voice if he stopped. Maybe it was how ethereal he looked when he was singing, eyes closed and letting the world fall away as if he was just a tiny speck in the entire galaxy. Renjun had to admit, the two of them sounded really good when they harmonised together. What he didn’t want to admit is that he knew he was slowly but surely catching feelings for the purple-haired boy in front of him.

 

The music ended and Donghyuck smiled. “That was great! You were great! Let’s do it one more time so we can be prepared for tom-” “Uhm, actually… I really can’t stay any longer.” Renjun lied, putting his lyric sheets in his Voice class folder. Donghyuck frowned and the sight almost broke Renjun’s fragile heart. “I thought you could stay until five?”

 

Renjun bit his nails, “I-I lied. My mom usually doesn’t want me to stay too late, new school, new neighborhood and all.”

 

“Oh. Okay then. We can meet tomorrow morning and practice again before class then, right?” Donghyuck asked, eyes full of hope. Renjun didn’t want Donghyuck to stop looking at him like that. “Okay.”

 

“It’s a date! Uh— meetup—rehearsal… er, I’ll be here by seven.” Donghyuck smiled and Renjun nodded. “I’ll see you.”

 

Renjun rushed out of the studio room, stopping by his locker to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 

What was this boy doing to him?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **CURRENT TARGET. HUANG RENJUN**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ ENDEARING, MYSTERIOUS**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ LEE DONGHYUCK, INTROVERTED**
> 
>  
> 
> **MARK LEE + HUANG RENJUN ▶︎ 5 DECEMBER - 10 MAY 2017. (JUNIOR YEAR).**
> 
> **MARK’S KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ CUTE, EXPERIENCED**
> 
> **MARK’S KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ NONCOMMITTAL,** **MANIPULATIVE**

 

Seniors. They’re either stuck up and think they’re the shit or they’re nice and help out underclassmen. Renjun had too much experience with seniors, specifically one. Whether it was a good or bad experience, Renjun was still deciding. It was good, in an eye-opening way but it was bad in that it had some particularly devastating effects on him at the tender age of sixteen.

 

No one ever told Renjun it was a bad idea to date a senior. He knew that it wasn’t ideal, the older leaving for university and barely having enough time to even hang out because of their heavy workload. Honestly speaking, he tried to stay out of the older boy’s way but it was impossible. They shared two classes and a free period where Renjun would rather sit next to a familiar face than a sophomore who was a total stranger.

 

“This seat taken?” The older boy asked, albeit not waiting for an answer and taking the seat anyway. Renjun glanced at him, knowing he was a senior by the black sweater with its three rings on the left arm and the boy’s name sewed into the pocket. Renjun didn’t say anything. “You’re in my Physics class right?” He asked, pulling out the respective books.

 

Renjun nodded, lowering the volume on his headphones but keeping them in. “Any specific reason for asking?” “Do you think you can help me with this recent unit?” The boy asked bashfully, taking Renjun off guard. He didn’t expect this senior who walked into the study looking like he would punch anyone who breathed wrong to be so… so cute. “Sure,” Renjun couldn’t exactly say no in this situation, as he was rewriting his own notes from the previous Physics class as they spoke.

 

“Well… Maybe we can start by saying our names?” Renjun suggested, even though he already knew the older boy’s. “O-oh. The teachers call me Minhyung but I prefer Mark. And I know you’re Renjun. Because you sit two rows over from me. Not because I’m like… a stalker or anything.” Renjun snickered, “Whatever you say Minhyung—” “You can call me Mark.” He interrupted, putting his glasses on. Renjun raised an eyebrow at him. “Are these some kind of alternate identities or something?” He joked but it kind of went over Mark’s head. Renjun thought it was cute.

 

 _“Thanks a lot, Renjun. I really like you.”_ Mark said that a month after they had started to work together in the school’s library, studying after class or revising for a future test. _“Could we go out sometime? You know, not to study but… do something else?”_ Everything about Mark was unpredictable. Some days he was being cute and responsive but other days he was brushing off Renjun’s feeble attempts to flirt.

 

Even the start of their relationship was kind of anticlimactic if you asked Renjun. They did end up going out and becoming an ‘item’ as Donghyuck liked to call them. After multiple social media posts, PDA around school, and being together for a few months, the entire student body was obsessed with the two, calling them their ‘couple goals’. Renjun wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

 

“Don’t you think people are taking this really weirdly?” Renjun asked as they sat in the library, avoiding revision for Physics. Mark shrugged. “It’s not like we can stop them anyway, Injun.” Renjun bit his lip. He was never really one for attention, managing to drift through the crowd and staying under the radar, even with his popularity. Somehow being with Mark made that impossible. He was no longer invisible and although it was great sometimes, Renjun really just wanted to be treated as another student, not someone the underclassmen (and even some upperclassmen) bowed down to.

 

The conversation ended there, with Mark turning his attention to his Physics textbook and Renjun staring at the text but not completely taking it in. He could feel Mark’s gaze on him and it wasn’t the good kind. Mark was worried, whether it be because of Renjun’s uncomfortableness with their current situation or because it had been awhile since either boy had said something. “Hey. You should come over to my house after my dance rehearsals. You’re super stressed so if we hang out, maybe you’ll feel better.”

 

“Sure.” That was a good idea. What could go wrong at a simple hangout at his boyfriend’s house?

 

+++

 

 

A lot could go wrong, apparently.

 

Renjun took the liberty of letting himself into his boyfriend’s house after Mark texted that the front door would be open, setting his overnight bag on the floor in the living room.

 

Mark must’ve been in a deep conversation because he didn’t hear Renjun come up the stairs or open his bedroom door. Renjun assumed he was with his older brother but then again, people didn’t make out with their older brothers did they?

 

“Am I interrupting something?”

 

“Renjun…”

 

“You said you didn’t have a boyfriend.”

 

Renjun didn’t know who this other person was and quite frankly, he didn’t care. He just wanted to get away from both of them.

 

“It’s okay, really!” Renjun willed his tears away, rushing back downstairs to retrieve his bag. “Wait, let me explain—” “You don’t have to explain anything, Minhyung. See you in school.”

 

And that was only the first time Renjun had his heart broken.

 

+++

 

“We should go to Jungeun’s party tomorrow.” Renjun looked up at his best friend. He wasn’t the kind of person to say no to a party but tomorrow was a Thursday. Renjun didn’t do Thursday parties. “Hyuck…” “I know, I know, it’s not on a Friday but we can still have fun!” Renjun frowned. He hated saying no to Donghyuck (or anyone, really). “Fine.”

  


From the beginning, Renjun knew it was a bad idea to go to a party on a Thursday night. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable around drinks and weed and all that shit, it was just the thought of how he couldn’t even fathom walking back into his house smelling so strongly of it all and then have to survive an entire eight hour day of school on top of the possibility of his parents catching him.

 

“Injun, drink a little more!” Hyunjoon insisted, handing Renjun his cup. “I really shouldn’t!” He yelled over the music. “Designated driver?” He asked, drinking from the plastic since Renjun didn’t take it. He shook his head. “I'm just not feeling it tonight, Hwall.”

 

It wasn’t necessarily a lie but if he looked over to Donghyuck, who got a lot more drunk than him after three cups, Renjun would rather not have his best friend blackout before he got home. “Have you seen Hyuck?” He asked Hyunjoon, who was holding onto his arm. He didn’t mind, knowing that he was going to be drunk soon too so Renjun figured he should look for Hyunjin on his way out of the party. “Last time I saw him was the time I saw him last!” He giggled, sipping his alcohol. _Seriously Hwall?_ He thought, rolling his eyes.

 

“When did you see him last?” Hyunjoon shrugged. “With Mark probably? They were starting a beer pong game!” Renjun sighed. “Thanks… Please go find Hyunjin before you get wasted!” He called as the older boy left, merging into the sea of people in Jungeun’s living room. Walking to the backyard was a feat in of itself as Renjun had to maneuver around many drunk and high teenagers.

 

Renjun walked around the party for a while, his efforts to find Donghyuck did not avail.  

 

“Injun! You never come to weekday parties.” The one person he didn’t want to see. Great. “Yeah… I came here because of Hyuck. Speaking of, have you seen him?”

 

Mark shrugged. “He ran off with Lucas or something. Look… I wanted to apologise!” Renjun shook his head, “There’s nothing to apologise for, Minhyung.” “Renjun, I still love you. I’m sorry we had to break up for me to realise that.” Renjun frowned at that.

 

He wasn’t going to lie because for a while he believed Mark and put up with his many lies.

 

 

 

 

> _"You said you weren't going to that party! I can't keep leaving my house at three o'clock in the morning because your drunk off your ass Mark!"_

He put up with being embarrassed in public because the older stood him up what seemed like every other day.

 

 

 

 

> _rj (18:03): i'm at the_ _restaurant! waiting for u_
> 
> _mh (18:03): i'll be there soon!_
> 
>  
> 
> _rj (18:15): mark??_
> 
> _rj (18:34): i'm going home now_
> 
>  
> 
> _mh (20:38): something came up.. i'm sorry_
> 
>  
> 
> _rj (23:04): fuck u mark_

 

He almost lost his friends because of how stupid he was being.

 

 

 

 

> _"He doesn't love you, Renjun! You need to break it off with him. We can't keep doing this," Hyunjoon frowned._
> 
>  
> 
> _"He'll change!" Renjun insisted, not listening to his best friends._
> 
> _"People don't just change. Especially not people like him." Donghyuck muttered._
> 
>  
> 
> _"I love him... Am I—Am I not enough?"_
> 
>  
> 
> _"You're more than enough, Injun," Hyunjin consoled him. "You deserve someone better than some scumbag like him, okay?"_

 

And in Renjun’s opinion, it sucked that he had to be cheated on three more times for him to realise that Mark really wasn’t shit.

 

He had to be cheated on four times in total for him to realise that he should finally love himself and not anyone else.

 

 

 

 

> **LOG:**
> 
> **TARGET SUCCESSFULLY HIT.**
> 
>  
> 
> **CONSEQUENCE** **▶︎ TARGET NOW SUFFERS FROM PHILOPHOBIA, THE FEAR OF LOVE. UNKNOWN IF HE WILL EVER LOVE AGAIN.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically this chapter explains why renjun didn't want to get into any relationships with jeno, jaemin, and donghyuck in the previous chapter, if you didn't catch on.
> 
> i'm also planning a last chapter to this with norenhyuckmin endgame.... would you want that???
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dunkyushot)  
>  [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/post/Commissions-S6S6STK1)


	3. Someone That Loves You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you want me near, but your love is what I fear. It's beautiful the way you move but what's a boy to do when he can't seem to choose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PART THREE TO BAD BOY… everything that occurs in this chapter happens AFTER the end of the first chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> [ PLAYLIST ](https://open.spotify.com/user/ceciliaaxix/playlist/6pTZWeyrQcazL0ttpLyChZ?si=gCre9pIJSTK-rGrcZeesdA)

> **LOG:**
> 
> **CURRENT TARGET. HUANG RENJUN**
> 
> **KNOWN STRENGTHS ▶︎ ENDEARING, MYSTERIOUS**
> 
> **KNOWN WEAKNESSES ▶︎ LEE DONGHYUCK, NA JAEMIN,  LEE JENO, CHEATERS, INTROVERTED, PHILOPHOBIA**
> 
>  
> 
> **LEE DONGHYUCK + LEE JENO, HUANG RENJUN +  + NA JAEMIN ▶︎ 26 MARCH - 2 APRIL 2018.**

  
  


Renjun was not as dumb as his friends seemed to think he was. He wasn’t oblivious to the smiles and looks Jeno and Donghyuck gave each other when the older sat two seats behind them in Pre-Calc. He saw half the texts Donghyuck sent to Jeno, full of  _ I love you _ ’s and ‘soft’ memes. Even though the two protested, saying it was just how they talked to each other, Renjun was not having it. He was tired of being left out of the loop, even now, as they sat with Jaemin in his dining room to work on their Anatomy project together.

 

“You guys are literally disgusting,” Renjun rolled his eyes, looking away from Donghyuck who was back hugging Jeno and kissing his cheek. “You say that with your whole chest as if you weren’t making out with him months ago.” Jaemin retorted, focused on the sculpture of major arteries they were trying to make.

 

Renjun scowled, flicking Jaemin’s forehead. “You all are lucky I didn’t storm into the Math and Science department to ask for new partners.” Donghyuck laughed at that. “We all know it’s because you love us and can’t get rid of us, even if you tried.” “Tolerate would be a better word.” Renjun muttered, pushing Donghyuck and Jeno apart from each other. “Now start working before I kick you out of my house and let us all get a zero.” 

 

“You would drink a litre of pee before you let yourself get a zero, Injunnie.” 

 

“Don’t think I won’t hesitate to put you in a chokehold, Jaemin.”

 

“How could you? Your arms are as short as an American Girl doll.”

 

A burst of laughter from all three boys filled Renjun’s mostly empty house as he reached over his table to pinch Jaemin but the younger moved before he could get there. “Fuck you, Jaemin.” “Wouldn’t you like to?”

 

Now you might be wondering why and how Renjun had gotten so close with the three people he used to hook up with, despite trying his hardest to keep two of them out of his life. The first person he had to blame was Mr. Choi for putting them at the same table in Anatomy but Renjun would be damned if he didn’t blame Hyunjin either. She was the one who insisted that he at least try to be friendly with Jeno and Jaemin or else he’d regret it once they were off to college. He hated when Hyunjin was right because he did exactly what she said and it felt like the small void in his life was filled albeit momentarily (there was still something missing but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone, not even himself).

 

He still got those annoying as fuck butterflies in his stomach when Jeno smiled and his heart still skipped a beat every time Jaemin called him by his Korean name (which was literally every day so it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if at some point Renjun suffered from a heart attack because of the pink haired boy who was sat in front of him).

 

As for Donghyuck… The butterflies and racing heart had always been there, even when the two first met. It was something he became accustomed to and was able to push down for the sake of their friendship but ever since that  _ incident _ on Renjun’s birthday, they were becoming harder and harder to control. He’d be lying if he said he liked it but he’d be an even bigger liar if he said that he wanted the feelings to go away as well.

 

For someone like Renjun, who despised anything about the idea of relationships and love, it was all too confusing and exhausting to deal with. Every day his heart told him one thing but his mind and body say other things. 

 

Renjun was starting to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with him.

  
  
  


+++

  
  
  


“Date night?!” Renjun asked incredulously as Donghyuck sat down across from him in their booth at the diner. Hyunjoon snickered and Hyunjin continued to eat as if this was no new information to her. Donghyuck shrugged. “Jeno and I are going to go on a date to see how we like it. If it goes bad then we’ll just stay as friends.”

 

Hyunjin rolled her eyes, “You can’t just ‘be friends’ with someone who looks like Lee Jeno.” “Aren’t you dating Kim Heejin? What insight do you have about boys?” Hyunjoon retorted. “Just because I’m gay it doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate how cute some guys are. You should try passing by a mirror, Hwall. Maybe then I’ll compliment you.” 

 

Donghyuck snorted as Hyunjoon threw a small piece of bread at her. “What does it matter to you anyway? I thought you got over Jeno?” The oldest of them asked, placing his food back on his plate. Renjun shrugged. “It’s just… unsettling.” 

 

“Because you like Jeno? Or maybe you like Hyuckie?” Hyunjin smirked, letting her head rest in her free hand. Renjun groaned. “No, that’s definitely  _ not _ it. I don’t know what it is. Whatever, Hwall is right, it shouldn’t bother me.” Donghyuck frowned, “I can cancel tonight if you—” 

 

“Don’t do that, Hyuck,” Renjun rolled his eyes. “Do what?” “That  _ thing _ you do when I get upset. You cancel things and try to make it up to me because you’re pitying me. I don’t like it.” 

 

There was a silence. “If Jeno is going to make you happy then you shouldn’t let me get in the way of that. Honestly, I could care less if you went on that date.”

 

Well, Renjun lied when he said that he couldn’t care less. Because later that day, when he opened both of their snapchat stories and streaks, he started to care a lot. He hated that he cared a lot. 

 

It made Renjun start thinking (which he would admit he didn’t do a lot of most of the time but recent events have started to spark things in his mind) that Hwall really was right. Jeno and Donghyuck being on a date shouldn’t bother him. But it did and Renjun just wanted to know why. Maybe it was because he still—he didn’t even want to think it—liked Jeno. Maybe it was because he felt protective over Donghyuck. 

 

Or maybe… Maybe it was because he wanted to be there too.

 

The Chinese teen sighed, grabbing his phone off his night stand. His parents were out working late which meant it wouldn’t matter if someone came over at this time on a Friday night. He scrolled through his contacts, which were not many. Hwall… No. Hyunjin? She’d probably try to have a deep conversation with him. Renjun didn’t want to deal with the kinds of confessions he’d spill to her at the moment. The two of them could save that for another late night. His finger stopped at the last person he knew he would want to see but called them anyway.

 

     “ _ Hello? _ ” 

 

“Jaemin?”

 

     “ _ Renjun? You calling me first? Wow, I really thought the day would never come! _ ” Renjun rolled his eyes.

 

“Are you busy right now?”

 

     “ _ I’ll never be busy when it comes to you _ .”

 

“Seriously. Are you busy?”

 

     “ _ You never make things fun, Injunnie. But no, I wasn’t busy. Need some company? Jeno and Hyuckie are still out _ .”

 

“Since when have you and Donghyuck been on a nickname basis?”

 

     “ _ Since I made out with him a few weeks ago at the library during a free period. _ ”

 

Renjun wasn’t really surprised that his best friend made out with his (ex?) acquaintance because there was a time when Donghyuck was obsessed with Jaemin. He was more surprised that the revelation made his heart hurt.

 

“Whatever. Can you, like, come over or something?”

 

     “ _ Of course I’ll come over! We can cuddle and watch movies and _ —”

 

“Okay, see you.”

 

Renjun hung up before he could hear any more of the ‘soft’ things Jaemin had yet to get excited about. Although Renjun would be a liar if he said he would be opposed to any of it.

 

As aforementioned, Renjun was not resistant to any of Jaemin’s soft ideas because they were alone but he kind of wanted to punch himself in the face as he pushed himself into the taller boy’s embrace. “Upset about Hyuckie and Jen?” He asked, running a hand through Renjun’s hair.

 

Renjun frowned but let Jaemin continue. 

 

“No.” That was another lie.

 

“It’s okay to be upset. I know you still like Jeno. Although I wish you liked us.” 

 

Renjun looked up at Jaemin. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaemin shrugged. “Jeno may be blind but I’m not, Injun. You look at Jeno like he’s the one who hung the stars in the sky. You used to look at me like that.”

 

_ Maybe I still do _ , Renjun thought.

 

“Would you be mad if I asked to kiss you?” 

 

There was a deafening silence. 

 

Renjun broke it. “No.”

 

“So… Can I kiss you?” Jaemin asked, in what seemed even less than a whisper. 

 

“Please.”

 

The kiss came out of nowhere even though Jaemin had just asked for it. It was a small yet warm, sending shivers down Renjun’s back. It felt so familiar but somehow foreign because of how long it had been. However, Renjun still melted into Jaemin’s arms like he used to, as if it was the only thing he knew how to do. It was the only thing he wanted to do.

 

When they pulled away, Renjun couldn’t help but frown. “What’s wrong, Injunnie?” The older shook his head. “I-I don’t know… I just feel like—like something is missing.” Jaemin laughed, “If you mean going to third base then—” Renjun pinched his arm. “That’s not what I meant, loser.”

 

“Does it have to do with Jen and Hyuck?” 

 

Another beat of silence. Renjun didn’t really want to admit it. “Maybe.”

 

“Do you like them too?” “Jaemin, I don’t—” “It’s okay. I like them too.” Renjun responded with a confused facial expression. “But you just kissed me?” “I like you too.” “That’s not something you should say so casually,” Renjun whined, pushing the younger boy off of him. 

 

“Well, I just did. Because it’s true.” 

 

Renjun would have to throw himself off the Empire State Building before he truly believed that.

  
  
  
  


> **LEE DONGHYUCK + HUANG RENJUN + LEE JENO + NA JAEMIN ▶︎ 4 APRIL 2018.**

  
  


Renjun assumed that Jeno and Donghyuck’s date(s. They had more than one) worked out well because a week later they went official. Or as official as you can be when you only tell seven people about the relationship.

 

“Are you free tonight?” Jeno asked, as the four of them worked on a dissection in Anatomy. “Sure,” Jaemin shrugged, checking things off their list. He was too squeamish to do the procedure himself. Renjun rolled his eyes as the youngest gagged at Donghyuck pulling something out of the frog’s body. “Jen and I are having a movie marathon. You two should totally come.” 

 

Renjun never said no to hangouts but for once in his high school career, he didn’t know whether or not he wanted to attend. “I don’t know.” Donghyuck scoffed. “What do you mean ‘I don’t know’? You always know.” Renjun shrugged, “I don’t really feel like being a third wheel.” 

 

Jeno smiled. “You wouldn’t be a third wheel, Jaemin will be there.” There it was again. Those damned butterflies when Jeno smiled and the increasing heart rate as Jeno mentioned Jaemin despite Renjun being on the other side of the table as him. “Fine, I guess I’ll go.” Donghyuck and Jeno hi-fived each other. “Great, we’ll send you the details in our group chat later.”

  
  
  


Later finally came and Renjun was standing in front of Donghyuck’s front door. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, knowing what had happened last time around (a heavy makeout session where Donghyuck told Renjun that he and Jeno were finally official).

 

“We were really gonna start the movie without you,” Donghyuck answered the door by pulling the shorter boy in his house and closing it behind them. “Luckily for us, Youngho went out which means we can watch all the scary movies we want and not have to worry about bothering him with our screaming!” Jeno shouted from the couch. 

 

Renjun rolled his eyes at that.“What movie did you choose?” Renjun asked, not really wanting to know, even though he’d figure it out soon anyway. Lately, the four of them had been watching scary movies despite Renjun’s fear of them. To be quite honest, Renjun preferred suspenseful movies over thrillers.  

 

Jaemin sprawled across the other couch, patting the barely empty space. “Sit here!” Renjun bit his lip. Although the offer was inviting, he turned it down, sitting in the last spot next to Jeno but far enough that they weren’t touching each other. Jaemin frowned. Even though Renjun knew it was to be annoying, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about his seating choice.

 

The movie started and had been running for twenty minutes before Donghyuck got up to stretch. “Hyuckie…  You’re stretching right in front of the television screen,” Jaemin complained, attempting to kick DOnghyuck’s legs but to no avail. “And what of it, Jaem? I’ll be back, I’m getting water. Anyone want anything?” 

 

Renjun stood, “I’ll come.” “It’s ‘cause he’s scared!” Jeno whispered, loudly on purpose, probably. As they walked by, Donghyuck hit Jeno on the back of his head. “You’ll be screaming like a baby soon too, hypocrite.”

 

Renjun sat on the marble countertop, watching as Donghyuck filled his small glass with water. “Are you really scared, Renjunnie?” The younger asked, hiding a smile behind his cup. Renjun rolled his eyes. “Paranormal Activity is scary, what can I say?” He huffed, crossing his arms. 

 

“It’s not that scary.” “It’s not scary to you because you aren’t even paying attention.” “I am!” Donghyuck protested. “Maybe my phone screen is just more interesting.”

 

Donghyuck stalked closer to Renjun, setting his empty cup into the sink.”What are you doing, Hyuck?” Renjun muttered, avoiding eye contact. 

 

“Something…” The younger answered, leaning against the cold countertop, in between Renjun’s legs. “Hyuck, your boyfriend is literally in the next room over. I’m not going to be a boyfriend stealer,” Renjun retorted, leaning back when Donghyuck tried to lean in. Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “You won’t… Don’t be a party pooper, babe.” 

 

Renjun hated the way Donghyuck decided to take his sweet time. He’s is avoiding Renjun’s lips, pressing lingering kisses against pretty much everything else he can reach. Whether it be on Renjun’s jaw, his neck, his cheeks. The older knows Donghyuck will leave marks he doesn't want, as he used to, as he always will, but he doesn't want to stop the feeling of Donghyuck’s teeth against his own skin.

 

Donghyuck’s cold lips from his previous cup of water brushed against Renjun as he tugged him closer, despite both of them being practically on top of the kitchen counter. There was always something about the way Donghyuck kissed Renjun, whether it be the way he left no spaces uncovered or how he made Renjun want more even when they were so obviously finished. “Donghyuck—”

 

“You owe me twenty dollars.” A new voice, that could only be identified as Jaemin’s, interrupted. “I never agreed to that. You can have a five.” Jeno answered, walking over to Renjun and Donghyuck.

 

Donghyuck laughed, pulling out his wallet. The other two ignored Renjun’s look of confusion. “You’re not mad? At all?” He asked, jumping off the countertop. “Of course not. Why else do you think Hyuck, Jaem and I invited you?” “To watch a fucking movie, not make out with me like a bunch of scoundrels!” Renjun crossed his arms. “What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

 

“We didn’t know how else to make you like us. Honestly, Ten hyung was the one who came up with the plan.” Jaemin confessed, sheepishly. “Who takes advice from Ten hyung? Besides, maybe you could have, I don’t know, asked me on a date?” Renjun countered, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

 

“Okay. Would you like to go on a date with us?” Donghyuck asked. “No.” “No?” Jeno repeated. “How about we make this our first one?” Jaemin suggested.

  
  
  
  


> **LEE DONGHYUCK + HUANG RENJUN + LEE JENO + NA JAEMIN ▶︎ 3 JUNE 2018.**

  
  


Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun were sprawled across Jeno’s trampoline, letting the sun warm their skin. Jeno hummed, throwing a leg over Renjun’s after Donghyuck pulled Renjun into his lap.

 

Eight months ago, this exact moment would have felt like a fever dream to Renjun. Him sitting here on his best friend’s trampoline, talking about what he should do for his two month anniversary with three boyfriends, not one. What would Minhyung think about Renjun if he knew now? The eldest thought to himself. It didn’t matter anyway.

 

For now, Renjun was quite content with where he was with life. Three months ago, his heart would burst at the thought of ever getting back together with someone he repressed his true feelings for. Yet, here he was, with his now boyfriends, people he once wanted to forget all about. He supposed that’s what love did to people once they stopped trying to run away from it.

 

“Tomorrow is our two month anniversary, you know,” Jaemin mentioned, letting his free hand tread through Jeno’s now light brown hair. They sat in silence for a while, contemplating ideas for their anniversary and enjoying each other’s presence. “We should do something,” Jaemin continued. 

 

“Like… watch a horror movie?” Donghyuck quipped. Renjun scoffed, squeezing Donghyuck’s hands that rested in his around his waist. “If it’s anything like two months ago, I think I’ll pass.”

 

“Are you saying you don’t want to make out with us, Injun?” Jeno asked, feigning sadness. “Just be lucky I still tolerate you.”

 

“Because you love us and would never get rid of us?” Jaemin answered. Renjun smiled. “Perhaps.”

 

“I’m going to assume that that response is just Renjun lingo for ‘yes’.” Donghyuck muttered, quickly pecking Renjun’s cheek. “Perhaps.” He repeated, listening to his boyfriends’ angelic laughs at his response. For the first time in a long time, Renjun had found the love he was trying to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg.... i hope y'all had as much fun reading as i did writing!!! <333 thanks for sticking around! I'm sorry this came later than promised.. school is a pain!
> 
> let me know what ship you want to see next as usual :)
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dunkyushot)  
>  [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/post/Commissions-S6S6STK1)


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